Sun 2 Aug, On the Road Again

I had a couple of hours between buses in Chernivtsi (pop 260 000). It boasts an ornate, World Heritage university campus, which I had to run round and grab a few snaps. My best bet for lunch was Rita Steinberg, an upmarket Jewish restaurant just down the street. I ordered coffee and beer in Ukrainian, then Google Lens translated the menu. To avoid misunderstandings, I got Google to translate my vegan requirements, which I read out from the cyrillics. The waitress of course spoke perfect English and interrupted me halfway through, but I ignored her and stammered through my speech in full. I was reminded of a student I’d just started tutoring, with severe processing delay. The world routinely interrupted him and he’d just been diagnosed with depression. Empathy but nothing practical – I was privileged with years of classroom assertiveness; I couldn’t imagine him talking over impatient adults. Despite a meaty menu, they knocked up an impressive spread of falafel, houmous and salad for me. On my way out, the people at the next table said how nice it was to hear an Englishman speaking Ukrainian. 

Next stop Kamyanets Podilsky, an ancient town with probably the most beautiful castle in Ukraine. I checked in at a posh hotel in the old town then made a beeline for the castle. Truly stunning! A couple of young guys offered to take my picture and we got chatting. Artem was studying something in tech. Matviy was a trainee barman (a vocational qualification) in Italy. He was half Ukrainian and staying with relatives for the summer. Slightly cheeky, but very sweet, they declared themselves Poor Students, so I invited them to join me and we explored the castle. English kids would have pestered me for vodka. One was 195cm, the other 194cm. The short-arse was delighted to learn they were both 6’4”. They soon found the dungeon. It had a torture chair with spikes on the seat and no do-not-touch sign. They tried it out, of course. Back in the bailey, we spotted a row of three thrones and found a photographer. I sat at the side but they insisted I sit in the middle. Artem teased Matviy: “King [me], Prince [himself] and Princess!” No time to call out their gender politics; there was a photo to pose for.