Mr Tart

I reckon I gave this speech literally thousands of times as a supply teacher.

So my name’s Mr Tart. Yes, that’s a bit funny when you first hear it. There are actually three meanings:

1. An open pie – a jam tart.
2. Some people use it as an insult for a woman. That’s a shortening of the word sweetheart. Not many people know that. 
3. Then there’s an old English meaning. If something tastes a bit tart, that’s a sharp taste, like lemons. Originally, it meant sharp or severe, so one of my ancestors probably spoke sharply.

But you look lovely, so I’m sure I’m not going to have to speak sharply… am I?